Monday, December 11, 2017


The sun is shining. There's a slight bit of "Freezing Fog" covering the evergreen branches in the huge, red, cast iron planter out front on our patio.

Just another day on "The Island".
Vancouver Island. About as far west as one can get in this great country of ours.
Today, Twitter tells me our Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is the "cover boy" on the January edition of Europe's biggest LGBT Magazine- Attitude. Canada is great- isn't it?
Our values cannot be beat.
We are a welcoming nation.
This is a welcoming Island. I can't count the number of times folks have said- "Welcome to the Island!"

Such a Handsome Boy. Canadian Values up his "ying-yang"
I also saw on Twitter- along with 17 million other people, that heart-wrenching video of a boy in tears, telling his mother about being bullied. It tears at my heart.
I mean why in the name of Jesus H. Christ would someone pour milk over someone's head.
Why the fuck can't we be pleasant to one another. I mean, I would hope that most of us are but there are the scurvy few who are rat bastards.
Absolute "Rat Bastards"
It will get better Keaton.
I would hug you hard if you were standing here right now.


It  has been a pleasant few days. A friend- Bev, is visiting from back east. Before we picked her up at Nanaimo Airport on Saturday afternoon, Tom and I spent a nice morning at the Duncan Farmer's Market- which is open- outside, year round. Holiday greens, soup, jewellery, tea, coffee, produce and food. A German Food Truck is one of our favourite stops. It feels like we're at a Christmas Market in Germany and with a hot, steaming cup of Gluhwein- alcohol free, in our hands nothing says Fröhliche Weihnachten more.

Palm Villa on Sunday. The Hole? For the Palm
So, our friend Bev is here visiting from Owen Sound. She's our second overnight guest and sixth visitor to our Island and our new home- Palm Villa. Brother-n-Law Ted and Sister-in-Law Chris came to the Island in September from Edmonton. Then, our friends Deb and Warren from some cold, frosty, minus twenty-four degree Ontario backwater surprized us back on October with a visit. We were not in our new home yet. Then, Victoria Brenda came and stayed overnight to help us unpack. Jaki- the daughter of our much-missed friend Mrs. P from Mississauga, came for a daytime visit last week and now Bev is here. Not to be outdone, a former neighbour who lived just up the street from us in Old Orillia Town, arrives from Courtney- up island, on Friday to stay a night or two. Karen moved to the Island back in July. She paved the way across this country for us. Now, not that we won't love visiting with Karen but we are anxious to see Hailey her Yellow Lab. Hailey will go ballistic when she sees Uncle Rob and Tom.
Such fun!

On Sunday Bev and Tom and I toodled over to Cowichan Bay Village, a quaint ocean side fishing village. Shops and places to eat- of course. Here's a photo of the view from a window in a bakery where we sipped latte's and hot chocolate.

Cowichan Bay Village
In our new home the Christmas Trees are up. Only one on the lower level was decorated. The other-one of a matching pair, never appeared from Orillia and I have no idea where it got to. Maybe it was sold by mistake at one of our garage sales.
I can't remember.
The Holiday Season is going to be different here in the Cowichan on Vancouver Island.
Temps are in the high single digits and even a double digit or two are forecast.

We know back in "Old Home" temps are minus 15, minus 20 and more.
Do I miss the snow and cold?

Not one little bit.

Saturday, December 9, 2017

ROBBLOG #680 W E E K E N D Edition

Good Gosh I am tired!

We moved into our gorgeous Island Home a week ago and it has taken seven full, long, tiring days to get unpacked and add some homey touches. Done and Done.

Half of our garage is filled with cardboard. I suggested to "the Mister" we stash the boxes along the side of the house. He has a concern that the boxes may get wet. It hasn't rained in more than a week and our lovely new van has yet to see the garage interior! Who gives a rat's buttock if the cardboard gets wet- which it won't since there's only sunshine and mild temps for the next week.

I can't begin to tell you how much stuff we've unpacked. I thought I got rid of so much back in "old home" but there still is a mountain of stuff here, so I have started to put extra stuff in boxes and taking it to the storage room on the lower level of our house. I will have to purge again but there's no rush. I am tired of packing and unpacking and making room for stuff so out of sight out of mind for now.

My Christmas Great Room Mantle with BC Cedar Boughs
Remember we had thought we lost a bunch of stuff in the move to The Island? We have slowly discovered that our movers took it upon themselves to open a box or two and re-arrange our stuff. For instance, a box marked Master Bathroom had our Great Room mantle lamps tucked inside. Another had an antique Gone With The Wind lamp inside marked Master Bath. It was labelled correctly but it had been on  the bottom of three boxes piled in the corner of our Master Bedroom. It's been like an Easter Egg Hunt at times! More boxes were piled around the stack of three. I just couldn't remember where stuff was after four months of displacement.

We had been missing an oak dining room chair this past week until last night we found it in a garment box. It was wrapped in a movers quilt. Our leather jackets were rolled in bunches and tucked in on top. Why they opened our boxes and moved stuff around is beyond me.

A final tally would have me say that we had one antique lamp smashed. There was also a small Austrian vase found in several pieces near the bottom of a box. So, besides that- in the end, we faired quite well.

Morning View out our Bedroom Window.
Today I am going to finish decorating our Great Room Christmas Tree then later this afternoon our friend Bev arrives at Nanaimo Airport- about 25 minutes away. She'll be house guest number two in the past week. "Victoria" Brenda stayed last weekend to help Tom and I unpack. We are really looking forward to Auntie B's visit. She's been in California at her sister's place since December first. She'll stay with us and tour the Island until mid-week.
Such fun!

On a final note, it appears you have had some wintery weather this past week back in good ole Ontari-ari-ari-oh! Our friends Deb and Warren report a foot of the white stuff about an hour and a bit north of Orillia.
We saw pics of snow covered, slippery roads.
Double Yikes!
So glad I don't have to drive on snowy roads. As our friend Brandy sent us a photo of slippery streets we were waiting in line at the car wash here in Duncan. The photo of flowers blooming in December was taken as her snow-covered pictures came into my phone....and yes this is still Canada with December flowers in bloom.

Now My Dears, that's you up to date.
Have a good weekend. Enjoy the Holidays which are almost upon us and even though I am not supposed to encourage Easterners to come West- it's an unwritten rule apparently, there's still room here on the Island.
All you'll leave behind is...winter!

Monday, December 4, 2017


Well, we did it!!

Nine months after we signed the contract we have moved into Palm Villa- our new home in Duncan BC on Vancouver Island.

We had three moving guys- one with lovely biceps, who worked from 1030 till about 5 in the afternoon. New friends Carol and the Two Brendas- one from Victoria and one from Ladysmith put their back into unwrapping a ton of boxes and tah-dah!

It was a tiring but a very exciting day. Most of our main level is put away but the lower level is still a bit scattered. I'll work on that this week. Most of our "stuff" arrived in good condition.
Some not so good.
We had breakage.
I did my best when packing but ultimately it was the handling along the way.
There are items missing too- like an oak dining room chair.
Our bicycles are missing bolts that hold on the fenders.
Our patio table is still in pieces because the bolts can't be found.
I asked one of the nice moving men way back in August NOT to take the table or our bikes apart.
They did anyway.

Palm Villa's "Great Room"

We had the back of an antique harp-back washstand damaged. Someone had glued it back together and wrapped it in tape! Nice one.
Tape on an antique piece?
What can you do?
We will be putting in a claim.
I am also missing two mantle lamps and an antique "Gone with the Wind" lamp.
I hope I find them in a box today.

I will begin work on re-assembling Swisssh and Starlite later today and who knows, maybe they'll be back on air tomorrow.

Tom and I are so happy to be in our new Island Home. WE are grateful to be mostly settled and feeling a part of this Cowichan Community.
Cowichan means "warm land" you know.

'Front of House"
We are also grateful for our new Island friends- Victoria Brenda, Ladysmith Brenda and Carol.

Oh Christmas Tree is assembled. It's lights are glowing but naked otherwise.
It's on my "to do" list.


Saturday, December 2, 2017

ROBBLOG #678 W E E K E N D Edition

My Goodness!

I am happier than a pig in poo right now!
Here on the Island the Holidays are in full swing.
Thursday night Tom and I met our friend" Ladysmith Brenda" in Ladysmith for the Festival of Lights and the light parade down Ladysmith's main street. Ladysmith is about 20 minutes "up island" from our house in Duncan.

The evening was mild and the lights were amazing. Up to 18,000 people crowd into this Island Town of 6,000 to see the downtown awash in coloured lights. Santa flips the switch at 630 and the parade begins! Jesus, Mary & Joesph- it's a lot of lights!!

The parade of lighted floats and vehicles lasted almost an hour and a half. Then, a huge tree with 15,000 LED lights was lit, followed by a 15 minute fireworks display which was one of the best I have ever seen. What a jolly evening! Worth the trip to the Island.
Some pictures below:




From Top: Rudolph Lights, Marching Cadets, Lighthouse Lit & Fireworks over Aggy Hall


After 9 month we have taken possession of our new home in Duncan BC. With shorts, 9c degrees and a big smile on our faces, Tom and I were presented with our key. WE started to move some things we had in our apartment- and Priscilla, into the house on Friday. Saturday sees all our worldly possessions arrive from Nanaimo where they have been in storage since the last week in August.
How Nice!!

A few lights to begin the 'Festive Mood" at Palm Villa
We are excited to say the least. Our home still has some exterior finishing touches like some painting and landscaping to be done but it feels like home. Our palm tree should be planted by Christmas.
Mele Kalikimaka.
Holy shite!

Here's a photo above of our interior fireplace in the Great Room. I'll post more at a later date.

So, I am going to be busy re-positioning furniture and hanging pictures over the next few days.
Pardon my absence folks.

I might even have Swisssh and Starlite back on air by Sunday night.
Baby steps first, Rob.
Baby steps....

Enjoy your weekend!

Monday, November 27, 2017


This is the Week That Was...

Or will be.
Or should have been four months ago!
July 29th was our original move in date for our new build home here on Vancouver Island.

All the details of our move and the past three months of "hurry up and wait" are on this blog. Just scroll down a bit and read some of the older bits- if you're interested.

It feels a bit surreal actually.
Tom and I have been counting the months and weeks and days for an eternity it seems. Now, our future is just about here. If all goes the way we've planned, the house keys should be in our hands on Thursday morning.
It seems strange to write that...
Thursday Morning.

Saturday we'll be laying our heads down under a new roof. It's the beginning of the rest of our lives.
Those lives being spent here in the Cowichan- the City of Duncan to be precise. It's a nice place. Not a big city like Toronto or Victoria but busy with the Island Highway or Trans-Canada Highway slicing through Duncan from South to North on the east side.

Duncan's Downtown is a lot like Orillia's back in Ontario. Small shops, restaurants and services.
This past Friday night Duncan welcomed in the Christmas Season. The entire downtown was lit with thousands of Christmas Lights on buildings and wrapped around trees. At 8 o'clock there were fireworks from atop City Hall. That's right! Fireworks from the top of the building showering the people below and all accompanied to thundering music of the Holiday Season. That would nevefr happen back in Orillia. The crowds are kept at a distance. Here, we actually stood underneath the fireworks shower.

Christmas trees in the Duncan City Square were not only decorated with multi strings of lights but actual decorations were hanging from branches. This is something one would not see back in "Old Home" in Orillia. The snow would prevent it but here in the mild temps of a 10c evening, garlands and ornaments covered tree branches along with the lights.
It was a warm, inviting, Holiday evening.

Further down island Victoria celebrated with an evening Santa Clause Parade. First time I ever saw Santa with a huge umbrella on his float. The photo below is from the Victoria Times.

To recap, first we get possession of our new home then the furniture arrives on Saturday from Nanaimo. Island friends are coming to lend a hand- all former Ontarians who now also make this Island their home. It will be a busy day of unpacking and unwrapping. Some adult beverages. Some food. Some stories and ultimately all our stuff will be in place and looking comfy-cosy.
How nice!

After the furniture and accessories are in place, the next job will be to haul out my three Christmas Trees and get a late start on the holiday decorating.
It's a big job but I am up for the task.
Happy Holidays!!

With all this unpacking and decorating going on I may not get back to blog writing for a bit.
I'm not saying never but I will require an internet connection- and some spare minutes.
Next time I should be writing from my studio- home to Swisssh and Starlite, from Stonewood Village.
How Exciting!

Friday, November 24, 2017

ROBBLOG #676 W E E K E N D Edition

Where in the feck is Jesus H Christ when you need him?
And his Mother- Mary.
MARY, can you hear me? MARY, can you see me? Mary, can you feel me?
And God. Where is she at this time of the year? Aruba? Winnipeg?
Oh Jesus Christ no!! Not Winnipeg. It's -21c and that's balmy for Winterpeg.

Listen, I would even have the ear of Joseph H Christ- Jesus' Dad if he were an important enough, religious enough historical figure but Joe just isn't. Who goes down on his knees in front of Joey every night?
On second thought, don't answer that.
I think it could be perceived as very dirty- in a fellatio/tea-bagging sort of way.

Anyhoo, I am looking for a miracle and in all the wrong places so far.
You see, our Darling little Mini-Schnauzer Missy has been diagnosed with sarcoma cancer. A week ago we discovered a lump the size of a small pear on her groin near her right back leg. We have had initial tests done and the pathologist is looking at more blood work, X-Rays and such to see if the cancer is located entirely in this fatty lump or has spread. If it has- it's bad news. No operation.

As if this isn't enough, Doctor Kyle also heard a heart murmur. Then, he took an X-Ray and saw an enlarged heart too. That's a lot for a little girl who turned 13 yrs old just a week ago.

Our Missy
For us, it's sad.
We've been waiting for months to get into our new home here in the Cowichan on Vancouver Island.
Now, we are down to literally days before possession and we have Missy's health hanging over our heads and weighing heavy on our hearts. The support from friends has been terrific. In situations like this your friends circle around you. They send us positive vibes, chants and prayers to the universe.

Hey listen, if the God-Thing works- any port in a storm but I'm not signing my soul over to Jesus. Remember as kids we'd clasp our hands together, look skyward and say things like-
"Jesus if you give me a thick mat of hair on my chest..."
"Jesus if you let the Westcott Brothers brush up against me while sweaty and naked in the shower after Gym class- I'd be yours forever."
I mean we all prayed for those kind of things- right?
I mean...right?
The Westcott's who were built like a pair of brick shithouses because of all that hay they flung down on the farm.

I mean, I still believe the tale of the Christmas Story with the Three Kings and the Shepherds is sweet but not reality based.

Hennaway, my views on religiosity is not the purpose of this blog.

Our furry friends give us unconditional love and we return that love to them. It's just that in this situation we feel helpless and hopeless. We've been down this road countless times before and it's always too soon to say goodbye or even think about saying goodbye.

Another year, another week, another day is all we ask.
We hope to get positive news and the surgery can go ahead.
We hope- if that's the case, Missy's heart will be strong during the surgery.
We hope- at this most festive time of year, we can give our sweet little Missy the gift of time.

Time will tell....

Monday, November 20, 2017


So how's it going out there on the Island?

We are hearing that a bunch these days.
Fine, fine, we say.
Partial truth. Partial fib.

Imagine having your life disrupted for three months. It's been three months since we left Ontario.
Living in Priscilla our RV for 33 days and now in this granny suite apartment has been "different" to say the least. Blame it on the builder or the municipality- you choose. With the delays- 4 and a half months of them, it's been rough to have a normal day-to-day home life.

Tom and I haven't seen our furniture, the majority of our clothing, Swisssh and Starlite Radio or other general stuff like outdoor furniture since August 15th.
I shouldn't complain
There is an end in sight in just over a week.

Now, with the snow and snowsqualls back in what I call "old home", we know we'd rather be here on the Island.
We aren't shovelling.
It's not cold.
Let me be truthful here. It's not the tropics but I'll take 8, 9 or 10 degrees and green grass anytime.
Now that deciduous trees have lost their leaves, the green is really standing out across the landscape. Lawns, cedar trees, arbutus trees, rhododendrons, yuccas, holly trees, palms, privets and English laurel are all still a vibrant green and will remain so.

Garden Centres are still open. Here's some Canadian Tire plants for sale
in their Outdoor Garden Centre.
We still wear shorts when it's 9 or 10 degrees and sunny.
Hah- Easterners!
I understand the Island rule is 6 degrees outside and it's okay to wear shorts. Nobody looks at you funny and says- "you're wearing shorts?" like back in Ontario during the month of October.

We were at a Christmas show called Christmas Chaos on the weekend and many folks were in shorts- like us, some, in sandals. Scarves are simply a decorative bit of fashion flair like in London or Paris. I want you to know, I have put the flip flops away for the winter!

There are island folks about who hope for snow.
Can you imagine?
"Oh, it's so pretty!"- they say.
"The kids love it!"- others tell us.
"It's brighter than rain and clouds!"- we hear from others.
&*&^%!!- I reply.

I usually pull out my phone, show them Ontario Winters with snow and ice and tell them this is what we left behind.
Their eyes get all big and round looking at the photos.
They crack a small smile.
They have no idea what it's like plowing one's way through January and February. Consistent cold, shovelling, ice and rough roads.
No folks, Island life is better- even if there is the possibility of February snow and that could just as well stay up on Mount Prevost or Tsouhalem and I'd be happy with that.

Snowy Orillia, Ontario
I know all things will get better once we unpack our treasures- including one small shovel, less than a couple of weeks from now.
I am excited at the prospect.
Placing furniture.
Hanging pictures.
Putting up my three Christmas Trees- wearing shorts.
Fah Lah Lah Lah Lah.

How nice.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

ROBBLOG #674 W E E K E N D Edition

Haven't done a DIS 'N DAT since like here goes.

1. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here on the Island. The Big Christmas Craft Show is on at the Island Centre- home of the Big Hockey Stick.

2. The Big Hockey Stick ( 'ockey stick if you are from Quebec) adorns the Island Highway side of the
Island Centre. You can't miss it. It's pretty big but not that impressive. It's just a stick after all...Now the big "Puck"- that's something!

3. Are you as tired as I am hearing about men and women being sexually touched without their permission?

4. Is it dirty/bad thinking about Terry Crews in a little red speedo- if I keep it to myself?

5. When is the United Church just going to let Gretta Vosper get on with it. It's only the Holy Trinity she doesn't believe in after all, not the end of the world. She believes in love and good and treating people fairly. So, what is bad about that?

6. I have great disdain for old ladies who stand behind you in the 12 items or less checkout at the grocery store and count your items!! No, it didn't happen to me but my haircutter Sharleen.

7. What was Sharleen's total item count? A measly fourteen items and the cashier had called her over before the old lady got in line behind her. Sharleen even offered letting the old lady go first. Geesh!

8. Attention all "Old Ladies!!" Get a life or go to Bingo or something!

9. A man buys a photo for $10. Turns out it's a real picture of Billy the Kid and Pat Garrett. Mr. Garrett eventually shot the Outlaw Billy "real dead".

10. Someone buys a painting- supposedly painted by Leonardo da Vinci, for peanuts and sells it for 450 million dollars! JESUS CHRIST!!
That's the subject of the painting. Now, like the Mona Lisa, the subject knows a dirty little secret based on the little, smirk of a smile we see. Hey! Maybe it's Mona in a different wig or maybe the Mona Lisa is really Jesus in drag. Either way, 450 million is a lot of peanuts to pay for a pic.

11. From the "Only in America Department", someone is hosting an event called "Come Meet a Black Person". For 15 bucks and a couple of drink tickets, anyone who has never met or befriended a person of the "Black Persuasion" can do so at this event. Just ahead in the same series-
"Come meet a Gay".
"Come Meet a Serial Killer" and
"Come Meet and Touch Someone You Have Always Wanted To Touch".

12. A Prairie Nun- Sister Rosetta Reiniger, believes the Saskatchewan Roughriders Football Club have God- The Big Guy, on their side. That's right, the "Sister" believes that Jesus's Dad wears a Roughrider Jersey when slumming around the H of G. (House of God) Why not? This is a Nun from the same church that believes there's an open hotline between the Pope and the Big Guy up there in Heaven. No word on who Jesus, The Holy Spirit of the Virgin Mary favour.

So, that's DIS 'N DAT.
I feel like a weight has been lifted.

Monday, November 13, 2017


"At the end of the day aren't we all whores looking for that pole to take our last ride on"
                                                            - Karen Walker

Today, I'd thought I would start with a quote from one of my favourite people. It's a funny quote to be sure but it has a serious side too.

The last ride.

I was watching a programme the other evening where a lot of twenty-somethings where creating what looked like an amazing stage show. When interviewed, several of the cast said that this was the big moment in their lives. It set the stage for what they needed and wanted to accomplish in their life on this crazy planet.

I thought about these younger folk who were still bright-eyed and busy-tailed. The world- they felt, was at their feet. The future was whatever they made it.
It was in their grasp.
They were in control.
This was their future and they were going for it all and holding on tight. They were going to enjoy the ride. The dance of their life.

I started thinking about my life and wondered if I had grabbed on tight and did all that I could have done or wanted to do.

These younger people were so excited about what lay before them. They could at this point in their young lives do whatever they wanted...or so they believed.

I sat there, my little inside voice asking me- have you grabbed life where it counts and are you ready to take that last ride on the pole of life? Whoring does not just have a sexual connotation here. Whoring is latching on. Going over the top. Taking what you want. Fighting for it. Lusting after it.
I began to wonder if I had taken my last steps towards that "pole".

Career-wise, I am through. I'm not working for a living now. I am not sure if I ever worked hard enough at my living. I could have done more if I had of had the drive. Most of the time, I just got by.

Now, I'm living each day my way. Doing this and that.
Of course moving about as far west as one can move in this glorious country of ours in no small feat.
It's been one hell of a way to wind-down.

I can hardly wait to be sitting in my favourite chair in my new house with my husband next to me saying- "look Hunnie. We made it. We followed our dream once again. We made it ours and saw it through.

I think you have to do that.
Follow a dream. Do something big like those kids in that show.
I know it's easy to say and it would be even easier with oodles of cash on hand to reach that dream but I guess you have to look at the whole picture and if you can and if you want to- you can make the change and afford the dream.
It might take some work.
Some heartbreak.
Some regret but also a new vision for the future and let's face it, the future is all that there is ahead of us.

I have looked ahead at this last part of my future. The inescapable winding down of life. The last three decades- if I'm lucky, is right there ahead of me. I can't change that but I can and did change where I'm going to spend it.

I asked my husband the other evening- "If I were to pass away, you know, travel to that next phase in existence, would you stay here on the island without me?
He said- "Yes. It's my home now."

I think we've both found that pole.

Friday, November 10, 2017

ROBBLOG #672 W E E K E N D Edition

Lest We Forget...We Remember

My Dad- Walter Harvie Reid WWII Veteran

My Mum- Marion Ruth Reid (Nee Bartley)
Bomb Girl and Supertest Grill Gal

My Mum on Left and her fellow war workers

The Red Ensign our Flag until 1965

Wednesday, November 8, 2017


A midweek Blog to compliment your day.

Firstly, I want you to know that Tom and I also have funds "offshore". Like other famous and rich folks we have our cash offshore from the mainland on the Island. So far, the press has not discovered this and our names have been kept out of the news.


We have learned many things coming to The Island off Canada's "Wet" coast or "Left" coast.
Nobody told us before we arrived and since we didn't know anything about it in the first place, why would we do a Google search about owning a vehicle in BC? We had to buy a new van when we discovered our old Montana van couldn't pass muster. Muster is a BC out-of-province test for out-of-province vehicles that you can't study for.

Our 2003 Montana failed- even though we could have kept driving her in Ontario.
A cash grab?
Maybe- but the story here would be vehicles are tested to keep unsafe vehicle off the roads.
The car insurance here is provincially run by the government and seems to be a make-work project and doesn't protect locals from inflated rates or ridiculous plans. There is no choice- somewhat like in Russia only Canadian in flavour.

If you Easterners think it's so bad here-
Why dontcha just go back home to Ontario?
Now our RV-Priscilla, sitting on a lot at Arbutus RV located at the Nanaimo Airport, is waiting to be sold. However, she needs an out-of-province test as well. If she passes, we simply change plates to BC. If not we fix her in order to sell her.
Two points to note here.
We spent over $5000 back in Ontario replacing "stuff" AFTER Heidi's RV gave her a pass on the safety check. Something wrong there...

If she doesn't pass the O.O.P.C. we could drive her back to Ontario and sell her there hoping the safety check would still pass.
That will cost money or we pay for the O.O.P.C. here on the Island and if repairs are required, we pay for the work.
Apples and Oranges.
We are waiting for the O.O.P.C. to hear the results.

We've also been learning some local lingo.
For instance a "patio home" is one built on a concrete slab- no basement.
On the other hand, many basements here are not basements but are partially or totally above ground and sometimes are referred to as the "lower level".

A home we used to call a bungalow in Ontario is a "rancher" here.

When you go into a restaurant and order a toasted western, you may get a funny look. That's because "Westerns" are "Denvers" out here. A little American I'd say. I've also seen "cheque" spelled "check" in many places. Tsk. Tsk. WE are losing little bit of our identity allowing that to happen.

Maple Bay is 10 minutes from our front door.
Oh!....This past Sunday we walked to our new build from the apartment where we are currently residing until possession date. It was a nice half hour walk, partly along the Trans Canada Trail. We stood looking at our house from our soon to be front yard, when an old grey-haired lady- with a cigarette stuck between her lips, sauntered by us. She didn't say anything but kept one eye on us as she passed. Then she disappeared into a house under construction across the street.- outside walls but no windows and doors. She did re-appear, mumbled hello as she passed us and flew down the street on her broom. We have since been told she is nosey old complainer who likes to stir the pot.

I am not worried. I have my anti-witch spray in storage. It works on both women and men- warlocks in this case. How come every neighbourhood has one of these?

Talk to you next time...

Monday, November 6, 2017


Nota Bene: This BLOG has a picture of Male Buttocks below.
I couldn't help it!

Welcome to the first "full" week in November!

I am Blogging today with a note to Kathleen Wynne Premier of Ontario.

Kathy, I looked at the list of Ontario Cities where legalized pot will be sold at LCBO outlets. Katie, it really is non of my beeswax- since as of August 22nd I live in British Columbia and not Ontario. I mean, here on the Island the smell of friggin' pot wafting across neighbourhoods is as prevalent at the smell of piss in the streets of Paris.
I don't like it.
The pot that is, although the smell of Parisienne Urine is not on the top of my list of favourite scents but it is Paris after all and Paris beats almost anything.

I don't agree with Justin legalizing it and I can't agree with the choice of the Ontario Cities where you will allow it to be sold.
I mean c'mon Kath, Orillia isn't on your list?
Orillia has been home to lots and lots of Potheads since the beginning of time.
People smoked it.
Grew it. Baked it. Rolled it.
They made fun of it and most importantly were stoned on it ever since I can remember.
Cripes the CBC even did a story on it when I was in High School back in the 60's.

Pot Gentlemen to be sure....
I mean in Orillia, couldn't pot stores could set up shop right next to the meth clinics?
How convenient, eh?
I know you want to have the LCBO distribute the foul weed but you could make an exception for Orillia. Gee, Kate, throw in a cash store and another Dollarama and the lineup would be around the block!

You really need to get to know Orillia, Kath. Don't discount this Central Ontario city just because the Conservatives kiss the ass Patrick Brown sits on. The Tories in Orillia and area would lick
Doug Ford's balls if they were offered to them in the display cabinet- next to the sour cream Timbits, at one of the many fine Tim Horton Outlets peppered across the city.

Look Kaff, the point is, you saw fit to skip Orillia and sell the mood altering plant in Barrie.
Now, I know you can't stand Patrick Brown- I can't either- obviously, however, living in BC, I don't have to worry about that any more. I have the Green Party to keep me entertained here.

All being said and done, I am concerned.
I mean look at that young, prominent Orillia fellah who has his lips permanently stuck on Pat's lower cheeks without the aid of velcro. What might he do and believe if he were able to buy whacky tabacky locally, instead of driving to Bah-ree.
The sky is the limit Kate. He might follow in Garfield's family footsteps one of these days and be a problem down the road for you- like Patrick is today.
He isn't Garfield's son, so that won't work but then again maybe he is Paddy's seed.
I mean do we really know Kathleen?
I digress...

Back to Mr. Brown.
Surely you know what he has been up to and what he is really like.
I mean really...isn't his office just down the hall? You must hear and see things? Ask your wife.

Now, I know he comes off as not being able to say "tah tah" if his mouth was full of it but "Geeze Louise" lift his flap and you'll see he has an expiration date just like the Mary Jane you are marketing practically everywhere else but Orillia!

Oh, I know places like Midland and Owen Sound and Dryden aren't on your list either but would they really be on anyone's list for anything- except a list of the "buttcracks of the world"?
Now, c'mon people, if you live there you know what I mean.
I spent 38 minutes in Dryden this past summer.
You think that little Katie just made a little mistake and forgot about you?
It was on purpose. This fine upstanding Lesbian Premier of Canada's biggest and best province
is that powerful and as a Gay Man I have nothing against Kate. I like her. I have met her. She is one of "us" and as you know- the Lesbians keep the flannel shirt industry booming.

Look folks, if you don't have an LCBO Pot Store near you, you'll have to get a PayPal account and buy your stash online just like everyone else who lives in a forgotten Ontario Town or City that doesn't vote Liberal.

So, poor old Orillia.
I feel for you Lady.

Kate, this is an oversight I am sure.
I have to believe this to be true- even though I have never, ever touched pot in any way shape of form.

Look, I was born right there at Soldiers Memorial Hospital in Orillia.
Ya, probably one of the reasons I turned out Gay.

Well, that and being run over on my tricycle when I was three years old- according to my Dad.
That's another story for another time.

You deserve better Miss Orillia and your potheads do as well.

This photo may or may not be a reasonable facsimile of a Pot Smoker.

Friday, November 3, 2017



A  most useless month if there ever was one- unless it's a birthday or anniversary month for you.
Yet, it is a pre-curser to Christmas in Canada and these days once the pumpkins are thrown on the compost heap, jingle bells are in the air.
I use the latter part of the month to set up my Christmas Trees and decorate this and that around the house- both inside and outside.

This year though- we have no house!!!
At least- not yet.
However, by the end of the month we should be moving in to Stonewood Village here on The Island.
I don't expect to pull holiday décor out of boxes until the end of the first week in December. Our belongings are being delivered on December 2nd. I'll be one "mad elf" trying to accomplish the normal tree decorating that I usually do over a week in late November.
Never mind though.
It will get done.
Just know- The Holidays are Coming"!

A couple of weeks back I was thumbing through December's House and Home Magazine and saw some neat little tree decorations in a Canadian Tire ad.
I have been into the local Cowichan Canadian Tire 2 or 3 times over the past couple of weeks and the Christmas stuff was just being put on display- albeit slowly.
Even these first few days into November, Island stores seems slower than Ontario stores in getting the holiday merchandise out on display.

I remember Orillia's Wal*Mart every year it was all Christmas- holiday tunes piping through the sound system and all, the morning of November first! As I said a bit slower here. Hallowe'en costumes and tons of candy still lined the "seasonal shelves" at our Wal*Mart's exit doors.

I had better luck looking for Christmas Tree decorations today at Canadian Tire. The items I saw in the Canadian House & Home Magazine were finally on display and I picked up three or four blown glass ornaments- including a pink 1950's era car with a Christmas Tree tied on top as well as a glass ornament resembling a "Canadian Passport".
To accessorise the passport ornament, there was a glass blown "suitcase" with travel stickers on the side from London, Paris, New York and Hawaii.
Well, Tom and I have been to all those exotic places so I had to pick one up. Always room on the tree for one more!

With those ornaments in hand, we headed to the automotive department to find grey-coloured floor mats for the Grand Caravan.
Hint: Do  NOT buy a vehicle with black interior carpeting. It shows every little bit of dirt and crapolla. These new floor mats will hopefully disguise some of the "dirt" carried in to the van and onto the carpet by dirty and puppy paws.

Now, lastly, I have a question for Mr. or Mrs. Canadian Tire.

We headed for the checkouts with our mats and ornaments and there on a shelf- just before the check outs, were BBQ lighters.
You may have a picture in your mind.
Red in colour.
Comfortable handle. Long nose to stick into the BBQ, kindling pile in your wood-burning fireplace or the wick of a candle.
Flick the switch and a small flame lights.
Easy-peasy but not so at Canadian Tire.
Although there were some "ordinary-looking" lighters there were others in the shape of guns.

A Gun....the gift that keeps on killing.

My question. Were these lighters supposed to be cute?
They were not!

It was frightening and WRONG.
It looked out of place.
One lighter was an AK-47. It said so right on the box.
Another looked like a rifle and the third maybe an uzi. I dunno. I don't know my guns.
All were packaged in nice little gun boxes maybe simulating gun racks.
I forget exactly but they were small replicas of firearms.

Both the Mister and I were taken aback by these images of BBQ lighters- replicas of guns that kill.

All the stuff going on in this world of ours today and Canadian Tire feels this is the right product to place on a shelf near the checkouts.
Tiny guns?
I think not and hey, while I am at it, toys guns on toy shelves are wrong too.

So, enjoy your weekend.
Have a peek at Canadian Tire.
Buy an ornament for yourself or a "gun lighter" for the hunter in your family.
Then, remember to re-set your clocks.

More darkness in this dreary November.

Monday, October 30, 2017


Today a Blog of thank you's....mostly insincere. Some very sincere.

Top of the heap in thanks goes to Kevin spacey.
Thanks Kevin for coming out of the closet and for telling us something we didn't know already years ago. I mean c'mon Kevin.
No. Really?
I mean really....

"I used tah like that Kevin fellah Blanche. So, he's a big ole Homo these days, eh?"
"Oh Jane...I do believe he always was..."
"Even when he was Bobby Darin?"
"Yes Jane Dear, even then."
"Huh...ya don't say?"
Second thanks also goes to Mr. Spacey for linking homosexuality (being Gay) to being a pedophile.
He was 26 when apparently in a drunken stupor he sashayed into his bedroom where 14 year old Anthony Rapp- not yet a "star" was watching television. Tony had pooped out at the party Kevin was hosting and decided to watch the tube. Anthony by the way, is the red-haired actor from Rent- both on Broadway and in the Movie version.

So hennaway, Kevin- remember he was shit-faced, flung himself on top of Anthony.
Now, if it were me, I'd have to be shitfaced- really shitfaced, plus in a drunken stupor to even want Kevin Spacey to jump my bones. Of course, this 14 year old apparently didn't have the choice to be jumped and humped whether sober or pissed. That's the bad part.

Boy, the Baptists will all be saying-
"Told ya so. Told ya so. Homosexuals and pedophilia."
They'll have a field day!
Of course the Catholics will be saying-
"At least this time, it's NOT us!"

Thanks thirdly to "Just Me" for never letting myself get piss-eyed drunk and jump on anyone. Anyway, like Kevin, I probably wouldn't remember.
That's my story and I am sticking to it- unless there's a book deal involved.

In my dream world, I can imagine being in the same room- or grass hut, as Mr. Hugh Jackman and comfortably numb- thanks to Vodka (thanks number four). I'd let nature take its course...
That's Okay- isn't it? If it's nature doing the deed?
Me being just a little numb and Hugh being a little number than me and taking me- as Pat Hervey sang in the 1960's- to "Heaven For A While".
That's Okay- right?

Hugh. Place a big ~sigh~ here.
A fifth thanks to our builder and his associates who after total delays of 4 and 1/2 months since February of this year, doesn't seem willing to build a huge fire- or fires, under someone's ass- or asses, just to get us into our new house a few days earlier. Now, we are running into the problem of the mover- who has our furniture stored "up island" in Nanaimo, being just too busy at the end of the month of November to move us!

Number of favours we have received from that builder since February 2017?
Bet you were gonna say "six"!!
All favours cost money.

Number of thanks we have offered to workers?
We even thanked the guy laying our floors today.
"Hey, thanks for doing such a great job on your floors!"- I said.
"They're YOUR Floors!" He says to me smiling.
"Ya butt...if you didn't install OUR floors they wouldn't look this good.
He smiled...

We thanked Jason the Trim Guy- and quietly thanks his biceps, for the beautiful trim work he is doing. Makes the wall colour pop and the finished interior look amazing.

Finally, a true thanks to Islanders who are always aware than one wants to cross the street or is even contemplating crossing when not quite at the crosswalk.

Thanks too for the friendly waves when a fellow driver waves you out of a parking lot into an opening in traffic. It's either fantastic ESP or just good manners.

Island weather remains sunny and warm and I know it sucks if your weather is worse- wherever you live.

H A P P Y     H A L L O W E' E N