You
know those cigarette packages with the nasty pictures of rotting lungs and
dis-coloured organs?
You
see them lying around trash bins, on street corners, at bus stops, on the lawn
at local Secondary schools and outside those cheque-cashing stores.
I
got to thinking that I could add a few more warnings regarding why a person shouldn’t
smoke.
Maybe
those pictures of rotting, puss-oozing gums are just not frightening enough.
Maybe Health Canada needs to slam smokers where it really hurts- in their self-worth.
So,
I sat down at my typewriter, lit up a Player’s Plain and as I blew smoke towards the
ceiling, I came up with these few gems below.
The
top15 additional warnings that could be placed on packs of ciggies.
Smoking
can cause…
you
to look refined- in a bad way.
you
to look ghetto-ish.
you
to look like you don’t have a pot to piss in.
you
to appear to be an addict.
you
to look like white trash.
you
to appear like Lon Chaney. (Google it)
you
to appear uneducated.
you
to appear less-than-smart. (I didn’t want to say stupid!)
you
to leave your children motherless or fatherless.
you
to smell like a backed up sewer. (use a New York accent)
you
to lose friends.
you
to never reach middle-age.
you
to appear lazy.
you
to look like a street person wandering without a purpose.
you
to look “cool”.
Okay
with that last one, I’m yankin’ your chain here.
Cool?
I
don’t think so- James Dean aside…
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