Blanche and Jane are on the back patio on a
warm summer morning.
Blanche:
My, what a beautiful day. It feels so good to fill one’s lungs with fresh air.
Jane:
~cough, cough~ Yah, don’t it? Fresh air. The opium of the masses. ~puff, puff~
Blanche:
Why Jane. You’re an early bird today!
Jane:
~spat, cough~ I didn’t wanna be. Those *&**%$# birds kept me awake! ~puff~
Blanche:
Well come here, sit down and have your coffee. Jane sits. My! Smell the petunias and the fresh cut grass. Mr.
Johnson is at it already. Such a fastidious man when it comes to his yard.
Jane:
Oh! ~puff~ you bin a looking over the fence at Mr. Johnson and his big muscles.
Blanche:
Why? What? Huh? Pardon? No, of course not. Jane how could you even think…
Jane:
Look Sister Dear ~puff, cough, spat, puff~ I knows you peek at young Mr.
Johnson when he’s stripped to the waist mowin’ his lawn. I sees ya from mah
bedroom window!
Blanche:
Oh, Jane Dear. Don’t be ridiculous. You just think you see me peeking through
the fence boards as I wheel around the yard in my chair. I would never…
Jane:
Hah! She would never! ~puff~ Well, I sees what I sees and I sees you salivatin’
all over yuhself. Hah! Hah!
Blanche:
Now Jane, you are just being terrible with me. Just terrible! Now have your
coffee. It’s getting cold. I’m going to turn on the hose and water my
delphiniums.
Jane:
Yes Blanche. You do that. Water your delphiniums right against the fence where
the crack in those fence boards is widest, affordin’ you a pleasant view of
what Mr. Johnson has to offer…
Blanche turns on the hose and sprays Jane
Jane:
Accch! Now whaddahya want tuh go and do that for. ~puff, puff~. My blouse is
drippin’ wet and you got some hose water in my coffee and on my ciggies!
Blanche:
I just wanted to cool you down Jane. Your mouth was flappin’ so fast, I was
afraid the friction might catch you on fire Sister Dear.
Jane:
~puff, soggy puff~ Very funny Blanche. Very funny! ~puff, soggy drag, puff~
Blanche:
Hah! Hah! Hah! Oh, one more thing
Jane. That guy who writes all this dialogue for us…
Jane:
You mean that “Old Mr. Reid” Blanche? ~puff, drag, soggy puff~
Blanche:
Yes, Jane Dear. Old Mr. Reid. Well, he’s celebrating a birthday he’s ~whisper~
Jane:
Holy Shit! He really is Old!!
Blanche:
Yes, Sister Dear. He really is... ~smile!
~
